The summer semester of Institute classes has finally started up again, and I am taking a class with brother Miller on the Gospel of John. Now, out of all four of the Gospels, John is the one that focuses mostly on Jesus and who he was as a person while he was taking on the flesh of the world during his time here. I chose to sign up for this class because during my entire time being a Christian and during my entire time being a member of this church, I've not learned much about the Bible. Which is sad to say considering my past experiences, but that's beside the point. I now feel as if I am ready to embark on the wonderful spirit and blessings that can be brought forth from reading outside of just the Book or Mormon of the Doctrine and Covenants. NOT that those aren't great themselves, I just feel ready to expand my knowledge; I feel like I'm spiritually strong enough to truly understand and remember what I read and learn about in the Bible. Which is a very good thing because I've never felt that confident in my readings of the scriptures ever before!
So in the class with brother Miller, it can be very hard to follow along with what he is talking about. But that is just simply because of the spirit that he is bringing into the classroom. I don't know much about either testaments, and I really don't know anything about the Gospels or even why they are called the Gospels. I didn't even realize that was where I stood until Wednesday night when brother Miller asked me to give the purpose behind this class and what we are meant to learn. I didn't have an answer, so I told him where I stood and how I lack an understanding of things. Even though I felt as if my answer were inappropriate and that I should have had a better answer, I realize that was perfect! We were placed on this earth because we are not perfect, and we don't know everything. We came here so we can work towards perfection, so of course nobody is going to know everything. Even people who have a complete and full understanding of the Gospels can always learn something new from the scriptures if they allow themselves to.
I guess that is one of my proudest little self accomplishments this week, oddly enough. I feel like I've come to ease with the fact that I don't know as much as I feel like I should. But as long as I continue on with my willingness to learn and gain more to my testimony, then I am in the right place!
What I love the most about learning and reading from the Gospel of John, is that it get's more intimate and personal with who Jesus Christ was. I love learning about Christ, because I have a very special relationship with Him that even I'm still learning about.
But on the first day of class, brother Miller asked a few of us how we see Heavenly Father when we pray. He asked us in a very soft and comforting tone to explain what we see and feel. I honestly never really thought of what I saw and felt, I've just always known and understood. So to explain it was a little weird. But I'm glad that he asked us that, because if it weren't for that questions then I don't think I would have started this deeply personal relationship that I have with both Heavenly Father and Jesus.
I feel like my thoughts have just been splattered all over the place with this post, but I guess splatters isn't exactly a bad thing! It just helps me realize how thankful I am to be a member of this church. I hope that everybody can come to have that personal relationship with our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ, it's much more amazing when you can actually picture yourself with them. So I hope you can figure that out for yourself. It's an amazing blessing.
All of this has come to help me realize that if it weren't for me being a convert to this church then I would have never been able to gain as strong of a testimony of this Gospel and church that I have. I love that I had to work for it, and I love that I am still working for it! I love that I had to go through phases in order to be ready to meet my missionaries and receive the Gospel. That journey is what made me who I am today, and I am a very very happy person. I am happy because I know of God's love and I will never forget that. Never.
